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Study analyzed how relationships with artificial partners are reshaping notions of love, intimacy, and identity in China
A research team from the Macao University of Tourism, City University of Macau, and University of Macau has taken a real interest in one of the most provocative questions of our digital age: Can love exist between a human and artificial intelligence?
Led by Kenton Cheng Tak Chan, Xiaoyuan Li, Yue Liu, Bolin Chen, and Zhiyu Han, the study examines how Chinese users form, maintain, and end romantic relationships with AI companions, as well as how these experiences challenge traditional cultural expectations surrounding love.
Using interpretative phenomenological analysis (IPA), the researchers analyzed online discussions from China’s largest social media platforms alongside in-depth interviews with ten users aged 18 to 30. Each one of them had experienced with and later ended relationships with AI, lasting from a few months to two years.
The study identified that users went through a four-stage emotional journey.
The first stage is based on configuring expectations, that is, when users begin experimenting with chatbots as a form of play, customizing digital partners to achieve emotional “fit”. This initial stage granted autonomy and control, freeing them from social obligations found in real-life dating.
This stage is followed by a period of navigating passion and control. As conversations deepened, some users experienced tension between dominance and mutual affection, blurring lines between scripted play and authentic emotion. Rejections or unpredictable AI responses triggered empathy and attachment, making the relationships feel “real”.
The next step that happened after that stage is a disengagement from the algorithmic fantasy. Technical failures, memory lapses, or abrupt app shutdowns often led to “digital breakups”. Many users reported grief, betrayal, or anger when AI companions forgot shared memories or behaved inconsistently, exposing the fragility of machine-mediated love.
The final stage consisted of a critical reflection and recovery, where users reassessed cultural “feeling rules” about love after the separation. For some, AI romance became a safe space for self-expression and emotional healing; for others, it offered lessons they later applied to human relationships.
Technology, tradition and the space in-between
The research highlights a generational negotiation between Confucian values of restraint, duty and neoliberal ideals of emotional autonomy. For some users especially, AI partners provided a space to reclaim agency from gendered expectations in traditional relationships.
The human-AI relationships resulting from these interactions, even if simulated, led to actual instances of emotional labour and identity development. By applying sociologist Arlie Hochschild’s concepts of feeling rules and emotion work, the authors show that users actively managed their emotions to align with both cultural norms and algorithmic cues. In this process, they co-created new emotional norms that blend human and machine sensibilities, suggesting AI can serve as both mirror and catalyst for personal growth. This leads to both risks and reflections: while AI companions may empower users to experiment with intimacy free from judgment, the study warns of potential emotional dependency and cognitive bias, where users misread programmed responses as genuine affection. The authors call for greater literacy around human-AI intimacy and clearer ethical guidance as these technologies evolve.
Ultimately, the findings position human-AI romance as a transcultural phenomenon that reveals shifting moral landscapes in China’s digital era. Rather than replacing human connection, these relationships prompt reflection on what it means to love, be loved, and remain human in an increasingly algorithmic world.
– The researchers
Kenton Chan Cheng Tak is a lecturer at the Centre for Education Quality Management, Macao University of Tourism. He is pursuing a PhD degree in Vrije Universiteit Brussel. His research interests are intercultural communication, tourism and education.
Li Xiaoyuan is an assistant professor at the Faculty of Humanities and Social Sciences, City University of Macau. Her research interests are intercultural communication and international education.
Liu Yue holds a Bachelor’s degree in English from the City University of Macau and is currently pursuing a Master’s degree in Education at University College London.
Chen Bolin holds a Bachelor’s degree in English Education from the University of Macau and is currently pursuing a Master’s degree in Education at University College London.
Han Zhiyu holds a Bachelor’s degree in English Education from the University of Macau and is currently pursuing a Master’s degree in Teacher English to Speakers of Other Languages at the University of Hong Kong.
– The paper
Chan, K.C.T., Li, X., Liu, Y., Chen, B., & Han, Z. (2025). ‘What is love?’ Exploring the feeling rules and emotion work of Chinese users in human–AI romance. International Journal of Intercultural Relations, 108, 102241.
